With a dash of magic.

ABOUT
              // Bethany // 24 // England

'Keepers of Private Notebooks are a different breed altogether, lonely and resistant rearrangements of things, anxious malcontent's, children afflicted apparently at birth with some presentment of loss.'
                      - Joan Didion -

I see myself as a collector of emotional instruments; words, feelings, touches, expressions, tears and people.

My ask box is always open and I will answer anything that comes my way.

                         // Bethy //

ASK ME ANYTHING

SEARCH

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained into her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.
— Anonymous (via starcrossedhatred)

theyarerealtome:

1: Fed all of her friends almost every day for ten years without complaining.

2: Excelled in a traditionally masculine career, (yes, cookery as a profession is generally male-dominated) and in traditionally masculine hobbies (football), without compromising her femininity…

Christian Slater in Heathers (1988)

(Source: ggrint)

geekinglikeaboss:

stem-cell:

rosalarian:

pourquoi-nutmeg:

nortonism:

The thing about this is that sculptures like these in art history were for the male gaze. Photoshop a phone to it and suddenly she’s seen as vain and conceited. That’s why I’m 100% for selfie culture because apparently men can gawk at women but when we realize how beautiful we are we’re suddenly full of ourselves…

YES.

Girls don’t let anyone tell you loving yourself is vanity.

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.” ― John Berger, Ways of Seeing

I feel like this is relevant given the naked pictures that were recently leaked.

geekinglikeaboss:

stem-cell:

rosalarian:

pourquoi-nutmeg:

nortonism:

The thing about this is that sculptures like these in art history were for the male gaze. Photoshop a phone to it and suddenly she’s seen as vain and conceited. That’s why I’m 100% for selfie culture because apparently men can gawk at women but when we realize how beautiful we are we’re suddenly full of ourselves…

YES.

Girls don’t let anyone tell you loving yourself is vanity.

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.” ― John Berger, Ways of Seeing

I feel like this is relevant given the naked pictures that were recently leaked.

(Source: nevver)

medschoolapplicant:

Today I’m wearing a nice dark shade of exhaustion under my eyes.

awwww-cute:

I asked my friend if she was having a good day today. All she replied with was this

awwww-cute:

I asked my friend if she was having a good day today. All she replied with was this